Progress Over Perfection

It seems that nowadays we live in a society that places perfection on a pedestal – we need to have the perfect house, the perfect life, be the perfect father.

We think that if we haven’t achieved perfection we’ve somehow failed as a parent. This can affect our sense of self, and impact the relationship we have with our kids. As a father, it may be time to accept that the ‘perfection’ we seek might not be achievable, and instead focus on continuous improvement, on progress.

Think about the type of dad you want to become, and then take the necessary steps to get there. By showing our kids that we accept our flaws and struggle to improve, they learn valuable life lessons and skills such as acceptance of who they are, self improvement, and taking responsibility for the consequences of their actions.

In this episode, Lester (Les) Williams, a father of two boys born 14 years apart, shares the lessons he learned from raising his first son, how he has applied those lessons to raising his second son, and how he has improved as a father. What’s in Les’ toolbox?

Tools for your Toolbox

• Overcome the fear that comes with being a father. Yes, it is the ultimate responsibility, but you can do it, especially if you commit to learning and improving.

• Encourage your child to ask you questions, and answer them. Giving reasons for why you want them to do something helps with their decision-making.

• Understand that not everything is in your power. You provide the environment and the lessons, but, ultimately, each child is responsible for their trajectory, and must take ownership of their actions.

• Be the loudest voice in your child’s ear. There are a lot of influences out there: social media, other persons, books, television. You, however, have to be the voice that is heard above all others, guiding them and charting their way forward. Ultimately, as dads we need to accept that we won’t be perfect, and put more emphasis on our progress. The journey, and the growth that comes along with it, is much more important than the destination.